past

i have been thinking about the past a lot lately.

thinking about everything Ive gone through.

everything that has happened to me before.

all the good memories.... and the bad.

mostly i think of middle school. which for me was like the highlight of my life. 6th and 7th grade were a blast. i made lasting friendships and had great times. 8th grade year was the worst. freshmen year wasn't any better. sophomore year sucked too. but least then i had someone to help ease up my pain. but terrible things happened that year. junior year. was the best. i was HAPPY. this year. is back to terrible.

The lasting memories of friendship are the ones i want to keep. everything else can just disappear. i have had this crazy fantasy for the past 4 years that i will move to Europe and i will forget all about life here in America. i will meet new people. make new memories. and the past will fade away. but lately i have been thinking that i don't want to forget it all. i want to remember the friends. the funny moments. that laughs and the long talks. my FRIENDS. i can forget all about the bad, all about the ones that hurt. i would love to forget.

This rant seems to be going no where.

but mainly i just... i want to forget the bad... but i cant.