i guess

its comforting to know people who have gone through the same thing

that understand what you are going through.

it makes me feel much better and much brighter knowing that not all people are bad. i tried to give up hope. i thought all people were bad people and were mean and treated people terribly.

i was wrong. that's not true. there is hope.

i will hopefully find love again.
if not love. comfort works too. maybe someone who compliments me.
that's what we should all try to find. not someone who "completes you" but someone who compliments you.

Merry Christmas =]

well

its all over.

live and learn.

love and then forget all about it.

after one year. my whole life is changed drastically.

and i cant turn it back to the way it was. when i was really outgoing and happy and crazy. and i LOVED holidays.

now they just seem like a waste of time.

=[ i am pathetic. i am sorry.

wow

i have a hard time believing that a long relationship can last and be nothing but loving and wonderful.

but i guess thats because the guy that i fell head over heels for is stubborn. and so am i.

we are so in love with each other. but we fight. and we do stupid things.


i am honest to god afraid that he is the love of my life and i am never going to feel the same way about someone again and i willl regret the mistakes i made for the rest of my life...

i am so annoyed

with everything.

i like my dreams better. they are organized. and i KNOW what is happening.

life is so complicated.



and i am REALLY ridiculously jealous. but i make it worse. i think about everything too much.

i need to just let it all go.

gnjkdnfjkhnmhkl;

its just hard.

Life

my life is looking up.

i read a very good book that cheered me all up. it made me realize just what to do to get back on track. to truly like myself the way i should.

I am so excited for everything:
For the rest of fall play.
For abracadabra.
I am doing the miss Moorpark pageant.
For VEGAS to see Britney
To be free and happy.

its gonna be way different and I am soooo excited.

I have never been so ready to change.

=]