i cant believe

i let my heart fall so hard for someone i knew could hurt me just as bad. and he did. but i hurt him. i hurt him deep. and i am a mean nasty person. i fucked up. i fucked up bad. I wish that i could go back a treat him the way he deserved. i love that boy. and he hates me. he hates evertything about me. he thinks im dirty. and he is embarressed to say im his ex. he thinks then no one will want him if he has been with me. thats how fucking gross i am. i am a terrible person and all i want is sex? OUCH. i have nbever been hurt so much with words before. " stick and stones may break my bones. but words will always hurt me worse" i am too emotional i swear. someone seriously just take me away and help me forget about everything.... im thinking... new york. or the carribean. anything to make me feel better. about losing the love of my life..... and hurting him the worst ive ever hurt someone.