Bad day

Today was a terrible day. Actually last night was terrible. I got into the worst mood> i stayed up late thinking about my life and how i am the way i am. It made me realize how terrible i really do feel about myself. I'm unfortunately a truly unhappy person. I just pretend to be happy. I wish people would understand me if i told them. I'm thinking about writing a book. Though this blog helps too. I wish i could find someone who was going through a similar thing. But I have yet to find someone. the closest person was Melinda from Speak. But thats different. I have relationships with people and I talk to people. Well my birthday party is today. So I'm hoping i will cheer up and have a great time. Hanzy is coming, so i hope all goes well.